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曼荷莲居 许凌嫣

感恩节,一个人住在曼荷莲,自得其乐。在如馨的房里悠闲地看着经济书,窗外每隔15分钟传来教堂的敲钟声,是一种令人愉悦的分心。

有人玩笑说这所女校的女孩恬静,深谷中的校园更是僻静,若是下起雪来,又适逢暗生的愁绪,学术的压力,那寂寥是可怖的。“想申请的学妹可要考虑清楚啊~”。

好一朵空谷幽兰的感觉。就这样一直在心里惦记着。

近日至此,这印象却被打破了。

全校几近无人。可是,世俗气息弥散退幕后,她的灵气却如此生动地在空气中流淌。大气婉约的建筑,亭亭静植的草木,簌簌索索的流水,无不低吟着内敛的歌 ,又似以静默的方式表达对往日的追思,仿佛这般诉说着:重要的事,是发生过的.沉重,是压载过我肩的.但此刻的你,是最值得我荫庇的.永不疲惫.永远高贵…

她不应该是任何一种花。她们的柔弱无法匹配她的坚韧。她是一棵参天大树,直指云霄,巩固大地,福泽万代.

创始这样一所学校的是什么样的人?美国历史上最古老的女校之一…

首任校长MARY LYON女士的墓,就在学校里.如果落叶归根是东西方共同的传统,爱校至此,不得不令人感怀.无论生前死后,她在这里.

麻木很久的我脑子突然有些乱了.

17世纪的女化学家…17世纪!女孩还只是摆设.哈佛耶鲁这样的OLD BOY’S CLUB骄傲地对所有女孩关上大门.(正如MONA LISA SMILE里那个WELLESLEY的老师对校长狂怒道:”I thought I were educating future leaders,not their wives.”). MARY LYON女士立志”做旁人没有做过的事,走旁人没有走过的路”,甚至亲自挨家挨户敲门筹集善款,建一所女孩子的大学! 往往遭遇到的是甚至是捐助者的白眼和嘲讽.有时候筹到的只是一床被子……

就这样艰难地成长起来.星星之火,可以燎原. MOUNT HOLYOKE建成..WELLESLEY建成了…SMITH…不仅是建成了.不是当时男校的SUBSIDIARY,而是COUNTERPART! SMITH的第一任女校长JILL KER CONWAY在她的自传 A WOMEN’S EDUCATION中提到,在20世纪70年代的男女混校风潮中,这回轮到SMITH COLLEGE拒绝YALE的”吞并”…女校有女校的坚持.不是故作的矜持,而是对MARY LYON,SOPHIA SMITH这些女性教育开拓者精神的传承!特别喜欢我自己学校(SMITH)的宗旨:SMITH COLLEGE EDUCATES WOMEN OF PROMISE FOR LIVES OF DISTINCTION…

 

“MARY LYON校长感情不是很顺…传闻她和她已婚的赞助人有暧昧.”忽然想起如馨的话,不禁为前辈扼腕叹息.转念又觉得自己庸人自扰.MARY LYON又岂是怨妇,这样坚韧伟大的女子,自身的光芒不仅足够”MAKE A DIFFERENCE”,也鼓舞一代有一代年轻女性无所畏惧,勇往直前!

 

下午上课,MR.GRANT照例对我嘘寒问暖一番.当他得知我一个人过的感恩节,就惊讶我怎么不提前告诉他.

一个学期快要过去,每周的钢琴课是我最快乐的时光.老师的天才,善良和乐观给我留下了难以磨灭的影响.

MR GRANT年近七十却童心未泯.每当我坚持礼貌地称呼他”MR GRANT”时,他总会吐舌头头一歪说得了,叫GRANT就可以.我们倒无所不谈,也算忘年交吧.他从来不强制要我做这做那.一首钢琴曲布置下来,他总是要我自己先探索-”我才不先弹给你听呢!”他总是这样说.他总是有很多的灵感,很多的想法,但是他从来都尊重我对作品的理解,不灌输强加给我知识,只是巧妙地引导我.

第一次见到老师是在试奏的时候.过了这个考试才能选课.后来老师告诉我,当他听到我开头介绍说最后一次钢琴课是在9岁的时候,他简直”头痛死了”.谁知道我弹得”还不是那么糟糕.”"当时我想,既然她想学,为什么不让她来呢?”这样老师就选了我做他的学生.

第一堂课的时候,我有些紧张,觉得自己什么都不懂.老师给我布置了一首舒曼的曲子,很简单的.当我看到谱子上SCHUMANN,轻轻念出来恍然大悟是舒曼啊,一开心就和老师八卦舒曼的三角恋:舒曼的学生勃拉姆斯爱上了舒曼的老婆…谁知道老师一听我讲也很开心,说:”你不是说你什么都不知道么~你看你知道的比你想得要多~这都知道~不过我告诉噢,其实你不知道舒曼其实爱勃拉姆斯.”说着他眨眨眼很调皮地说:”或许是因为他们都很有才华.舒曼脑子有点疯,而勃拉姆斯年轻又健康…”这话匣子一打开,我们以后几乎好像对什么对什么都可以评点一番似的.老师的领悟力很惊人.英语并非我的母语,很多时候我都不能精确表达出我的意思.然而我往往话未说完老师就已理解,或赞同或质疑.他对我很有耐心.反而是我自己对自己没有耐心.毕竟不是钢琴专业的,一天不可能8小时弹琴,技巧跟不上想法……有时候上课弹到一半我会很懊恼:”我真笨…我右手在打嗝一样.”但一说出来就很开心了.

今天,老师突然跟我说,学校要把那架17世纪的古董管风琴扔掉.

管风琴其实是原先一个解散的教会送给老师的,管风琴占地大,难保养,之前一直是学校在保养.现在学校突然决定”不浪费钱了.”(因为教会里的人都太老了,所以解散了。。。)

“我等了28年,一直在等学校给我一架好一点的管风琴.我已经很老了,没有什么时间了……这是文物,他们目光短浅.”

平日里充满活力的老师仿佛瞬间苍老了.我一听那句:”我等了28年”,心一下子就凉了.

我不知道怎么安慰.只是问着:”你有没有反对?管风琴什么时候扔掉?”

他说他做了他能做的.管风琴春天才会仍掉.

“可不可以你先带回家?”

“太大了,放不下.”

“也许我可以组织学生签名什么的.”

“这只会加重校方的愤怒.”

我一下子就呆了.

过了半晌我问:”保养管风琴要多少钱?”

他说:”80万.”

我又愣了一会儿.我原来知道这些教堂里的百年管风琴镶金带银,价格不菲的.这会才记起来.

他又说:”但是学校花了200万请ELIZABETH JOY ROE来当两年的钢琴老师,来自一个校友的捐赠.”

学校到底有多少钱,我不知道.大刀阔斧地建科学实验楼,搞工程系,这我是知道的,学校天天在宣传.可是学校从来没有提过前不久砍掉的国际关系系.也没有提最近在卖的古老的宿舍楼.不知不觉间,我们得到了多少,又失去了多少呢.

天天经济课里在讲TRADE-OFF,讲EFFICIENCY.

突然意识到SMITH IS A PRIVATE COLLEGE.平心而论,如果我是校长,我也许会做出类似的决定.

但是我很质疑在ELIZABETH JOY ROE上投的200万能给我们这些学生带来多少收益.她带的钢琴学生不会超过10个.

但是ELIZABETH JOY ROE国际闻名啊.这就是外人可以看得到的理由么.

“作为女校,又是lac,学校有很多劣势。。。改革工程系可以吸收生源。”老师说。

原来学校排名就是这样上升的吧。

“校长是基督徒么?”我小心翼翼地问,幼稚地想管风琴是教堂里常见的乐器,又是这么古老的管风琴,校长不见得不惋惜吧。

“校长讨厌宗教。她认为这是一个世俗的,国际化的学校,不和宗教沾边。”

我再次莫名地震惊了。虽然我并无信仰。

钢琴课在继续上着,我却没有了心思,只觉得莫名的伤感。我知道自己是不成熟的。骤然想起那200万是校友捐给学校的,也是校友要请ELIZABETH JOY ROE过来的。人家的钱,人家高兴怎么花就怎么花啊。

“Mr. Grant.When I grow up,I will donate.”我最后说。在老师面前,再一次暴露了自己的天真吧。

“Then you should take care of yourself and be happy until you grow up.”

 

迷迭香 紫罗兰 红枫和常春藤

 

寝室的窗边小小的常春藤,是学校植物园送给一年级新生的礼物。拿她回来的路上,给她细致浇水的每个清晨深夜,我心中都充盈着淡淡的欣喜。

今天又去植物园,悉心剪下了一枝迷迭香(ROSEMARY),紫罗兰还有红枫。在花盆里都立了写有自己名字和种植日期的标签,再过三个星期,老师发邮件通知,就可以把她们“领养”回家了。

 之所以说领养,是因为这三个星期专业人员帮我照顾娇嫩的幼苗,而他们口中的“照顾”是“BABYSIT”,简直把花当孩子了。

一叶知秋,这或许就是学校的贴心和细致吧。

生活愈发精致起来。在一个有着出所谓“女强人”传统的女校里,浮躁却一扫而空了。SMITHIES ARE HEADY,NERVY,INTELLECTUAL EXCITING.EVERY GIRL HERE IS SO INDEPENT BUT I HAVE NEVER FELT SO COMFORTABLE DEALING WITH WOMEN.

悠然得甚至可以天天打扮给自己看.心情好洒点香水什么的.养花已经让我很耐心了,难以想象击剑俱乐部开始活动后我脾气会调成什么样……校园里很多钢琴,第一次在琴房里碰触STEINWAY&SONS的钢琴,真满足…简直当爱人爱抚了,哈哈

第一次想回宿舍脱口而出的是想回家。早早地融入了这里。

学校不正是像呵护植物一样精心栽培我们么。

国际学生学前活动周结束,迎接来美国学生,节奏就没那么悠哉了.但是再忙,行走在校园里,都可以寻得一处好风景停下小憩.我偏爱天堂湖旁,大斜坡草坪上那棵巨巨大枫树下的秋千.摇晃着看看时不时跑过的小松鼠,就是享受了.

最近才知道,校园竟然是纽约中央公园的设计者FREDERICK OLMSTED一手打造。记得初见学校,是在夜色里。园林中点缀的灯光把建筑映照得影影绰绰。黑夜里骤然翩然而至的灿烂有如惊鸿从天际划过。我竟有些看得痴了。近乡情更怯。来到了心灵故乡,又疑惑这是否是现实。

35座HOUSE散落在147英亩的校园,各自依据建造年代当年的风格建立,各具风骚。我居住的MARTHA WILSON HOUSE是GEROGIA风格的,属于QUAD区,和相邻的几座同样散发严谨气质的HOUSE一起怀抱几块巨大的草坪。草坪是PARTY的好地点。我也喜欢看阳光照耀下草坪上穿着BIKINI打排球的同学。期待加入吧。哈哈。

WILSON HOUSE离学校引以为豪的天堂湖相距不远。前几天就看到几个女孩披着浴巾的女孩脸上画着彩绘,兴高采烈地出发去天堂湖畅游。可惜我现在还并不会游泳。今天从植物园回来一个偶遇的美国女孩在我脸上绘了一朵玫瑰。不精致,但是很可爱。就像快乐本身一样简单。

今天去见了顾问。运气非常好,我的顾问是DEAN OF THE COLLEGE,感觉她能从大的方向一下子把握住很多。也给我提了十分有意义的建议。对于我上次逃了她的GROUP MEETING,我卖乖说太累了睡过了,她也和蔼表示体谅。目前接触过的老师都是如此。他们也总是强调他们是来帮助你的。文理学院的好处就是个人真的可以受到很多关注。不过一翻资料,2011届 COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR就11个人,所以,我想如果以后我选这个MAJOR,那得受多大关注,不认真都不好意思了,LOL。

索性见ADVISOR做好了充足的准备,谈得也融洽,她还表扬我-YOU REALLY PAID CLOSE ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING。我一下子意识到自己或许不是愿意去细致的人,但也养成了一套细致的处理某些事情的方式。突然想起了爸爸。想起了原来很烦他一有机会就要来“苏格拉底精神引产”式教育我。想起在家里他总是把:“严谨”“科学”挂在嘴边。想起他的叮嘱。这才发现我继承的不仅是他的血液,更有他的作风。虽然我还远远不够。

JUST BABYSIT MYSELF.

 

Mount Holyoke College

许凌嫣

One Comment to "曼荷莲居 许凌嫣"

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